In loving memory of our son,
Brian Lee Duquette
KAREN & LEE
October 24, 2008; it has been almost 4 months since our son Brian was killed. Hard to believe still. The alleged killer, Douglas Lively is still in jail in Mississippi. We do not know when he will be transferred to Orlando to stand trial. Douglas’ brother, Bobby, had the nerve to call us and ask if he could have Brian’s car and other stuff. Yes, that’s the same car that was stolen when Brian was killed. Maybe Bobby should ask his brother for something he stole of Brian’s to remember him by. I can’t believe the nerve of Bobby.
Brian’s car has been sold and
the money put in Brian’s estate to pay mortgage payments. The
house is up for sale, but no one comes to look at that beautiful
house because of the housing market. So we continue to make mortgage payments,
and keep the pool clean, pay for lawn maintenance, etc.
November 1, 2008 We left Orlando on Halloween day and returned to Markham Park in Sunrise. We cannot travel too far from Orlando for awhile because we are not done settling Brian's estate, selling his house, etc. So we have settled in Broward for the winter as "snow birds." We are enjoying spending time with our daughter and grandchildren in their new house. Brian's dog China is now living with Brian's sister, who already has two other big dogs. China did not adjust very well to living in our motorhome because she lacked stability, and did not understand a "moving" house and a new backyard all the time. However, it is clear that China has become attached to Lee, and at first she was upset because Lee is not around every day and night, but now she seems to be well adjusted and happy. Both our motorhome and car have been repaired (details above in a previous update). We both still cry almost all the time and probably always will.
Now, I am trying to post some new photos, a few at a
time, on this website that were previously taken. I am behind on photos
because I stopped posting them when Brian was murdered, but now I need
to occupy my mind and post the photos, so keep checking back for them.
Almost every photo page has new photos - use the "Photos" button
above and the "Travel Plans" button for photos - there are a
lot of photos on this site. Thanks to all my family and friends who continue
to show us support by keeping in touch, inviting us out, etc. We appreciate
the social invitations. I still don't want to believe that Brian is not
with us, especially now, through the holidays.
On Sunday, December 14, 2008
The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting was held. This is
an annual event held the second Sunday in December. Through
a network of more than 600 chapters with locations in all 50 states, as
well as Washington DC and Puerto Rico, The Compassionate Friends has been
supporting bereaved families after the death of a child for nearly four
decades. Karen and Lee attended this event along with other bereaved families
in Davie, Florida. It was a very well organized ceremony, but we both
cried through it as thoughts of Brian enveloped our brains.
February 1, 2009 - The two RV Gypsies left South Florida at the end of March. They traveled across the south and up the west coast, through a part of Canada, then they will spent the entire summer in Alaska. Yes, they are moving ahead with their lives because they don't have a choice. But Brian is forever in their broken hearts and thoughts and prayers. Brian is missed so very much. Many people speak of their loss of their beloved parent(s), siblings, aunts, and our hearts goes out to them, BUT it really isn't the same as losing a child, even an adult child. Brian was a man, but he was still OUR baby and although we know he is happy in heaven (so stop telling us that), we still want him here with us. We hate his killer, even though we know hate is wrong. Our hearts are broken forever and our lives will never be the same. Sometimes I pretend it didn't happen and that he is just in Orlando while I am elsewhere. Sometimes I cry my eyes out even if I am having fun dancing at the time, then I run out of the room and sit in the car for an hour before I can calm down enough to drive home. It is easier when I am with my husband as we just support each other, but I see the pain in his eyes too. Lee is still doing a lot of paperwork on the estate, even though the estate wasn't very big. It is unbelievable - you don't just bury your child then get to grieve. There is so much more than that to do. We told the bank to take the house, we cannot make any more mortgage payments, and they said OK but it can take a year for them to actually claim the house. It really saddens us to have the house be empty and go back to the bank, but we don't have a choice. And until the house goes through bankruptcy and the bank claims it, we cannot have the probate hearing to close the estate, even though there is no money at all in the estate account. The detective says we probably won't hear anything more on the murder case this year and advised us to do our traveling as originally planned, so that is why we will head off to Alaska. Yes, we've had a few good times here with family and friends, but still there is so much heartache and pain for us to endure, and I expect there always will be, because Brian was special, even the detective said so. We appreciate all our friends and relatives have done for us and their support, so we thank you all so much. Although at least one person I know does not speak to me now, guess she just doesn't know what to say. What a loss. I can not stand the thought that Brian could ever be forgotten. Don't be afraid to tell me that you miss him too, I love talking about Brian, if if I am in pain. I do hope people have looked at the DVD I mailed and will provide feedback on their favorite part in the DVD of Brian's life. It will be so very hard to leave our daughter and grandchildren while we travel. Last time we left, we just figured all four of them would be around when we returned, but one precious person was not, thanks to a person who must not have any morals or conscious. So it is that much harder to travel again, but we must carry on, and pray our daughter and grandchildren will remain safe so that we can see them again come November. It has been wonderful spending time with them these few months. We love them all so much. So to all of you who may be reading this, tell your loved ones that you love them. Remember that tomorrow is not promised to any of us. I do hope all of you have explored all the photos and information found under the "Brian" button above. Thank you for that, it helps a bit. Hugs to all of you who care.
|April 2009 - We are on the road full-time again, slowly making our way up to Alaska. Other then some bad weather and our toad, MOB, breaking down and costing us another $800 in repairs, we are having a good time. Of course we are missing our daughter and grand-children but will see them in November when we return to Broward County. And our son Brian is always in our hearts and thoughts. I still cry daily and still tell everyone I meet about Brian. Please look at the life of Brian in photos by choosing the "Brian" button above. I cannot bear the thought of Brian being forgotten. I miss him and love him so much.|
|June 27, 2009 - Brian's birthday that he doesn't get to celebrate - and the one year anniversary of his murder. So hard to believe one year has gone by. I still cry every single day for him - even though I am traveling and seeking fun in my life, such a big part of me died with Brian and I will never be the same. I tell strangers about Brian all the time. Our son, Brian Lee Duquette should be celebrating his 40th birthday today, but he cannot. I hate you Douglas Lively and hope you rot in hell once you get there. But for now, I hope prison is hell for you and that inmates are beating you up or something like that. Wish I could do it myself. I am full of anger and hate for the first time in my life.|
|September 23, 2009 - Karen and Lee traveled to West Bend, Iowa and the Grotto of the Redemption where there was an area dedicated to loved ones. So of course Karen and Lee bought a rose for their beloved son Brian Lee Duquette and placed the rose in this very sacred place. Then they went to the church and sat and cried.|
November 2009 - Karen and Lee are now in South Florida, spending Thanksgiving, Christmas and some winter months with their daughter and grandchildren. Brian is always on our mind but we did enjoy our Alaska / Canada trip. We carry on the best we can. As Brian's mother, I look at Brian's photos and I almost believe he can walk through my front door because it is what I want so much, but of course he cannot. Brian's photo is the first thing I see when I walk into my RV and I tell him I love him. This is such a pain in the heart that I do not wish on any mother - except for the mother of Douglas Lively of course. Nothing really against her I guess, but Douglas just doesn't deserve to live. Why does he get to sit in jail and watch TV and maybe laugh at a comedy on TV or a joke when Brian can not. It just isn't right!
|2/12/10 Today we almost panicked when someone said Douglas Lively was released from the Mississippi Jail. But it turns out that he is just being extradited to Orlando. The pain in our hearts has not lessened at all, and now this news is received with feelings that cannot be described. Brian was a bright light in the lives of everyone who knew him. I cry every day; no mother should ever have to feel this kind of pain. We act like normal people when around friends, but we will never be normal again. We live our lives to the best of our ability because we don't have a choice. I still find myself telling strangers about Brian. I can't help it because Brian is always in my thoughts. However, in spite of our pain, we will be traveling again soon, around the first of April.|
|4/27/10 Brian's alleged murderer, Douglas Lively, is now in prison in Orlando. There is a trial scheduled in Orlando for August 16, 2010. I pray for a guilty verdict. Nothing else is acceptable. The death penalty would please me too. I really hate Douglas. He changed our lives forever. I miss my son so damn much.|
|5/6/10 Now the trial is pending for June 7, 2010 in Orlando and family members have been subpoenaed to the trial. It is bad enough that Douglas took our son's life, but now for the second time we have to change our travel plans and rearrange our entire life because of him. God, how the loss of Brian in our lives hurts so much. It is almost two years later (hard to believe life has gone on without Brian) but the pain has not lessened at all!|
|6/6/10 - Douglas has changed our lives and many other people's lives forever because our son Brian Duquette was helping a lot of people to get a better life for themselves. Douglas Lively has also managed to change our travel plans twice now. As stated on Brian's justice page, we were on our way from South Florida to Canada and got as far north as North Carolina when we got the news and had to drive back to Orlando and meet with the Detective and the Prosecutor because we were told the trial would be June 7th. But when we got to Orlando, we were informed that Douglas Lively no longer wants a speedy trial and so the trial has been moved to December. December will be difficult to get a campground in Orlando, but we won't have a choice. Hope the trial doesn't interfere with Christmas. We wanted to get the trial over with, not that it will take away any pain or bring Brian back, but all that we can hope and pray for now is that Douglas Lively gets life in prison without parole when this trial is finally over. Nothing will bring our beloved son, Brian Lee Duquette back to us though. Brian had such a great future going for him and Douglas took that away. It is hard to believe it has been almost 2 years since Brian was murdered; the pain is still so tremendous. I don't believe in the word closure, as the hole in my heart will never close. I still cry daily for Brian, but most of the nightmares have stopped. Hope the trial doesn't bring back the nightmares. This is a really rough way to lose a son.|
|7/19/10 The new date for the trial is December 6, 2010 and it probably will be postponed many more times. Actually it was delayed several more times. On a better note, Lee is recovering from his surgery.|
|February 2011 - It is our latest understanding that it will be many months before the trial - maybe not even this year. It will be 3 years this July this year and still no trial. This just isn't right. We are holding up the best we can, but there is a big hole in our hearts that will never ever heal. But it seems that it is our destiny to carry on and live life the best we can. I do not want Brian to ever be forgotten. Brian's dog, China, has a good home with our daughter and her other two dogs.|
|June 27, 2011- What can I say, we survive, we live, we enjoy our lives, but the tears still come daily. Life will never be the same for us and for many others with Brian Lee Duquette in this world. The hole in my heart will never heal. Today, Brian's birthday is especially hard, but then again, all of life without Brian is hard. July 3, 4, and 5 are also extra hard days for us every year. I don't want Brian to be forgotten. He did a lot of wonderful things for strangers and that was his downfall. I still have nightmares, but sometimes the dreams are of Brian as a child. At least those dreams bring me a touch of peace.|
|July 4, 2011- We have endured three long years without our son in our lives. But Brian has been in our thoughts every day. Although we have learned that our lives must go on and we must enjoy all that we can, we have not stopped crying over this tragedy. Brian deserves to be on this earth enjoying his life. His accursed murderer, Douglas Lively, does not! The trial still has not happened and this is another tragedy. The trial will not change much but it should put a guilty label on Douglas. The 4th of July has lost all its joy for us, and I can't bear to celebrate that day anymore. The hole in my heart just won't heal. Thanks to all of Brian's friends that take the time out of their busy lives to call or email us. That is much appreciated.|
|January 2012 A new year - another year without our son. It has NOT gotten any easier. If anything it gets harder because so-called friends don't want to hear anything anymore. Brian deserves to live, and since he can't do that, he deserves to be remembered. Brian did a lot to help less fortunate people in this world, and that was his downfall. I keep hearing on the news how murderers get out of jail for good behavior or due to over-crowding, or only get a sentence of 15 -20 years. What the heck is wrong with this country? That should never happen. Still no word on a trial date. This worries me for many reasons. Yet, I don't know how to sit though a trial, look at Douglas Lively and his family, hear him claim to be innocent, and hear details that will tear my heart out. God, how I miss my son. Thanksgiving and Christmas time is extra rough for us, as is from Brian's birthday June 27th all through July 5th. We go to the candlelight ceremony every year and see so many parents of deceased children there. It is so heart-breaking. I have a good friend whose daughter disappeared off the face of the earth. These things should never happen. We struggle to go on, yet we do, because we don't have a choice. We force ourselves to enjoy every day because tomorrow is not promised to any of us. We do enjoy our lives and the rest of our family, that is for sure, but there is always that missing piece - our beloved Brian Lee Duquette.|
|June 27, 2012 - Damn you Douglas Lively. 43 years ago today I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy, Brian Lee Duquette. And because of you Douglas, Brian is not on this earth today to celebrate his birthday, once again. We have justice, but not our son, just a big hole in our hearts and lots of wonderful memories. Love you and miss you every day Brian. Hate you Douglas Lively.|
|December 9, 2012 - Every year on the second Sunday in December, churches around the world hold a world-wide candle lighting ceremony for deceased children. We, as parents of Brian Duquette, once again attended this ceremony at a local church. This was our fifth year. In churches, as well as in many homes, candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time (no matter where you are located). This means there are candles lit for a solid 24 hour period around the world. The two RV Gypsies request that anyone reading this could lite a candle every year to honor any and all deceased children. Thank you.|
I need people to know that Brian Duquette did NOT have a police record and was never accused nor arrested for any reason. Nor did his parents or sister. Brian never had any problems until he met the Lively's. Brian helped many people that were down and out and the Lively's were his downfall. I warned Brian about helping strangers. But Brian wanted to help people that were less fortunate than himself. Brian was raised in a family with no police records, and was raised properly to be a good, outstanding citizen.
Now that the trial is over, the judge said jurors can talk or not talk about the case, so that includes us. No family member of Brian ever talked to any juror or witness in the case before the trial. Many lies were told about Brian during the trial because Douglas had to try to defend himself by painting Brian as a bad guy, even if Douglas was guilty and this was done by TRYING to paint Brian as a bad person. Hopefully, juror members did not believe any lies about Brian's personality and life. Brian was a college graduate with a degree and any money he had earned was in an HONEST, lawful manner. It is our opinion that if you put a bad person with a good person who is trying to turn the bad person around, that does not happen; for some strange reason the bad person can influence the good person more than the good person can influence the bad person.
Although our Brian is lost to us forever, we are thankful for so many reasons:
a- that Douglas was unable to dispose of Brian's body after the murder; this was indicated as a possibility of intent of action by the fact that after Brian was murder, Brian was wrapped in a blanket by the front door as if ready for transport.
b - that people called to testify told the truth about the gems, ID's and credit cards being found, and all other stuff.
c - that the car was not destroyed by Douglas, and carpet fibers were in the car.
d - Douglas' DNA was under Brian's fingernails and nowhere else on Brian.
e - that justice was served, even though that will not bring Brian back to us. A big weight has been lifted off our shoulders, and we intend to not think about Douglas Lively, but to continue to remember the many wonderful things about our son, Brian Duquette.
In conclusion: Brian did NOT deserve to have his life ended in such a nasty, intentional extremely violent manner. And Douglas Lively can not ever hurt anyone else in any way shape or form.
|The trial was well over-due (almost four years) and it was not easy to attend this trial and see the person who very violently murdered our son. He showed no remorse. Now that Douglas lively is serving a life sentence in prison without parole, that helps us a bit, but still don't know how to accept that Brian is gone from us. I will always wish this was just a horrible sleep-time nightmare, but actually it is a real every day nightmare that will never end. We really miss you Brian. And the hole in our hearts will never heal.|
Now that the trial is over, I am posting one last comment below on this page, but I will be thinking about Brian all of the time.
Now that the trial is over, I won't post here every year because it just makes me cry even more than I already do. More holidays and birthdays without Brian have gone by. We suffer through each day, month, and year without our son in our lives. Time does NOT heal all. The hole in our hearts remains. Sometimes I think this is just a nightmare and Brian will walk in the door. We miss him every day, and birthdays and holidays are worse because Brian should be here on this earth with us. And I don't even celebrate July 4th anymore. It hurts to think everyone in the United States is celebrating on the day my precious son was murdered. To lose a child of any age is bad enough, but the way we lost Brian is still hard to comprehend. This was not God's plan. It was the plan of an evil person named Douglas Lively that went against God's plan for Brian and therefore the day will come when Douglas Lively rots in hell. Yes, I am still very angry and always will be. Brian's entire family enjoys our lives the best we can because we don't have any other choice. But so many people have missed out on a lot of joy and goodness that Brian gave to everyone he met. Thank you for taking the time to read all of the pages about Brian. I cannot stand the thought of Brian ever being forgotten. I remember him every day as I kiss his photo.